My writing goal is a 1,000 words a day. Some days are productive and I reach beyond. Some days, not so much. Writing is my pouring out. It is my time machine back. It is my mirror. Today, only 402 words came.
I pray before beginning asking God for guidance. Whatever He wants me to write, I will. As usual, He answers my prayer. I begin. I transport back to a time of betrayal, deceit, and utter despair. Chapter 4 in the book. I write. I feel it, the ghosts haunting me again, those little devilish imps. I pause for a moment, overwhelmed.
My husband encourages me to battle on. We watch one of his favorite scenes from “Star Trek V”. Captain Kirk talks about his pain. He wants his pain, it’s what makes him who he is and he doesn’t want it taken away. It gives me insight, broadens my understanding. It shows me I was not alone, not then, not now. It gives me courage.
I relive the moments, write the feelings, describe the impact on my thoughts, my actions, my choices. I wrestle with the ghosts. I finish. The ghosts float away. The pain was real, it is poured out in 402 words. I did what God asked, I wrote through the pain.